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1.
swimming with the card sharks and i’m trying to crack the nut it’s all or nothing, double down, i’m going with my gut my friend’s named Mr. Banker and my wife's name; Misses Bust she greased up Mr. Banker, then I hit a royal flush they call me “Gabe the Gambler” and hey, that’s alright by me I call this old casino home, they call me family well, roll the loaded dice boy, hang on tight, and close your eyes just give this wheel a spin my friend, you’re in for a surprise this game is stacked against you, it’s been jimmied, it’s been rigged but now’s the time for action, don’t you want to win it big? step right up and don’t be shy, you’ve got to play to win the prize in your eyes I see dollar signs, now have another glass of wine i’m swimming with the card sharks and I’m trying to crack the nut it’s all or nothing, double down, i’m going with my gut my friend is Mr. Banker and my wife is Misses Bust well Bank he knocked up ol’ miss Bust, but hey I hit the royal flush they call me “Gabe the Gambler” and hey, that’s alright by me I call this old casino home, they call me family I made this deal with the devil, now I spend my days and nights inside of this arcade, my money’s down the drain i’m steaming like a kettle baby, right down to the felt, i’ve spent it all, there’s nothing left, and all hands have been dealt round and round and round it goes and where it stops, no one knows take out a loan and ante up, a little coke; start me up I once swam with the card sharks and I tried to crack the nut it was all or nothing, double down, I got punched in the gut my friend was Mr. Banker and my wife was Misses Bust they both ran off and now i’m stuck here with nothing much they called me “Gabe the Gambler” and hey, that’s alright by me I live out on the streets now and i’ve got no family
2.
i’m in my dark place again, you know so step right up sit back, enjoy the show i’ve lost my mind would you help me find it once again, and every now and then? for no charge! I do a little dance I sing this song I put you in a trance don’t touch that dial watch me try to smile you’ll bust a gut while i’m stuck in this rut we know sex sells so here’s a little smut for no charge! I do a little dance I sing this song I put you in a trance I know that I may seem sort of strange but if you try you can be just as deranged it’s like a drug to live behind my eyes my freak flag flies rain or shine until I die and now I take you down into the darkest place where nothing can be found you’re lost without a trace where nothing can be made into what you had hoped where nothing can be saved and everything’s a joke I put you in a trance
3.
let’s have another round I wanna drown my sorrows in a cup of your love yeah I can’t get enough i’ve been looking round town but you’re nowhere to be found got bored and cut the cord so I hit the road and licked the toad i’m in a trance again strapped on those dancing shoes my friend it’s never ending splendor tender in the blender yeah highball stepping dancing shoes on the ground neon lightning is flashing all around whistles and bells alarms are ringing aloud forever spinning on the merry-go-round wake up now boy the fields they need to be plowed before they’re blown up in the mushroom cloud let’s have another round I wanna drown my sorrows in a cup of your love yeah I can’t get enough i’ve been looking round town but you’re nowhere to be found got bored and cut the cord so I hit the road and licked the toad i’m in a trance again strapped on those dancing shoes my friend it’s never ending splendor tender in the blender yeah highball stepping dancing shoes on the ground neon lightning is flashing all around whistles and bells alarms are ringing aloud forever spinning on the merry-go-round wake up now boy the fields they need to be plowed before they’re blown up in the mushroom cloud let’s have another round I wanna drown my sorrows in a cup of your love yeah I can’t get enough
4.
welcome to my world enjoy the lizard girls pour another glass of wine and leave it all behind you’re hanging by a thread you might as well be dead but you’re giving it a whirl you’re with the lizard girls take a hit of this have a hit of that they’re giving you the twirl you’re giving it a whirl have a hit of this and take a hit of that don’t touch the thermostat you’re with the lizard girls oh have a hit of this and take a hit of that they’re giving you the twirl they’re giving you their world have a hit of this take a hit of that don’t touch the thermostat mamas baking cookies with the hippo in your brain pain pain pain yes it makes me go insane acid tab dissolved now you’re floating down the drain lizard girls come shooting poison through your veins are you having fun? the parties just begun and you’re the only one I hope you brought your gun cause with the lizard cunts they feast when they are done on your heart and bones and then they steal your soul have a hit of this take a hit of that they’re giving you the gat you’re cornered like a rat take a hit of this and have a hit of that don’t touch the thermostat
5.
psychedelic redneck he reads your plan like the back of his hand he knows these swamplands plays Friday nights in a country band he really is a good man he goes to church with the rest of the klan he’s digging in a trash can he’s looking for his dinner man he don’t give a damn psychedelic redneck a strange old coot with a look in his eye he’s sippin’ on moonshine he doesn’t tell time or read or write he’s livin’ the high life he shoots his gun in the dead of night he’s really quite a sight he’s lickin’ his lips before he takes a bite psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck loves president Trump and takin’ dumps his lady is quite plump splittin’ firewood on an old tree stump I think he found a lump cut it out with a knife and he set it aside I think he’ll be alright cauterize the wound with a soldering iron psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck drunk as a skunk stumbled in one night he thought he saw his wife making sweet love to the milkman Brian he pulled out his six gun and he blew their minds with a .45 went for a drive and had a chocolate shake with a number five psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck psychedelic redneck
6.
you think i'm thinking about cuttin the cord the truth is i'm just really bored sittin' round with nothing to do flippin' switches and thinkin' of you hideaway in the panic room drool drippin' off a dirty spoon i'm a full blooded looney toon straight jacket yeah but i'm playin it cool i'm reelin in the fears of my mind its time to go back in time to find the key that I was meant to find need to lock that door and leave it all behind i dont think that you're coming back but don't be steppin' on the sidewalk cracks or your mothers gonna break her back sign the welfare checks and light the crack you think i'm thinkin about cuttin the cord the truth is i'm just really bored sittin round with nothing to do flippin switches and thinkin of you
7.
in my mind theres nothing to lose so step inside kick off your shoes crack a smile stay awhile dial the phone and call me Kyle empty head with nothing here i'm a vessel you could steer i'm waiting for another day to only wait another way I dont know what else to say some thing has clogged my brain the acid tab has dissolved now im floating down the drain rain will you go away? please come back another day in time or until i resign i'm fine it's always on my mind so you wanna know a dirty trick? build the wall up brick by brick and bring it down with a blast and launch it back into the past through the seas and sands of time in the future it survives I dont know what else to say some thing has clogged my brain the acid tab has dissolved now im floating down the drain rain will you go away? please come back another day in time or until i resign i'm fine it's always on my mind
8.
High Life 03:04
yeah we're rollin' the dice livin' the high life champagne on ice livin' the high life dancin' shoe goose steppin' yeah im preppin' for the doomsday comin' round and round the wheel she goes and where it stops yeah yeah you know gabe the gamblers back again he's scramblin' ramblin' back from shambles aces up the sleeve he wants that jackpot like a thief life can be real when you spin the wheel we're rollin the dice livin' the high life champagne on ice livin' the high life wouldn't it be nice livin the high life? try rolling the dice and live the high life psychedelic redneck out of money wrote himself a blank check turned it in for chips and now the redneck rakes it in the lizard girls are watching and i'm sort of shy but feel like dancing double down and tongue 'em both i score another win life can be real when you spin the wheel we're rolling the dice livin' the high life champagne on ice livin' the high life wouldn't it be nice livin' the high life? try rolling the dice and live the high life liquid sphere is spinning and im winning all the prizes in the world im way ahead of all the monsters in my head lets have another round i wanna drown my sorrows in a cup of love its smooth as silk fits like a glove white as a dove life can be real when you spin the wheel we're rolling the dice livin' the high life champagne on ice livin' the high life wouldn't it be nice livin' the high life? try rolling the dice and live the high life life can be real when you spin the wheel
9.
I'm a Joke 02:35
every time I think of your face it makes me sick every night I stare into space time goes so quick have another drink yeah have another smoke yeah have a stroke put me in the clink I ain’t putting up a stink baby i’m a joke do I make you laugh? do you want my autograph? every time I hear your voice it makes me cringe every time I smell your breath my face gets singed do I make you laugh? do you want my autograph? am I funny like a clown? do I bring you down? yeah i’m going downtown let’s have another round do you like my sounds on the merry-go-round above the burial ground? every time I look at your face it makes me sick every night I stare into space time goes so quick have another drink yeah have another smoke yeah have a stroke put me in the clink i ain’t putting up a stink baby i’m a joke
10.
nothing to lose you’re wearing your dancing shoes yes you can schmooze you can booze when wearing your dancing shoes la la la nothing to lose you’re wearing your dancing shoes time to wake up from your snooze sleeping in your dancing shoes hello captain im afraid the ship is going down lets pack our bags and board a lifeboat let the women, children drown hello head chef i’m afraid the lamb is fucking raw lop my head off on the table motorized electric kitchen saw hello officer i smoked way too much grass will you take me home and tuck me in before i die before i pass? nothing to lose you’re wearing your dancing shoes you’re out cruising for a bruise when you’re in your dancing shoes la la la nothing to lose you’re wearing your dancing shoes read all about the fake news you’re wearing your dancing shoes la la la hello misses operator I can’t call my friend I think she blocked my cellphone number I think its the end hello mr president I need the atom bomb send it to my residence and blow me all the way to kingdom come nothing to lose you’re wearing your dancing shoes yes you can schmooze you can booze when wearing your dancing shoes la la la hello family doctor sir i think i’m getting ill will you check my reflex and then please prescribe another pill? hello mr bossman will you please give me a raise? you work my fingers to the bone and keep me in a cage hello mr head coach wont you put me in the game? ever since I broke my spine i’ve never been the same
11.
i drive satan out with snakes those who don't believe my name cast out demons with their tongues we're taking up serpents just for fun this might be a little different than what you're used to it will change you play with fire shout and dance well lookee here you're in a trance when you die that's gods will unbox the snake and please hold still this might be a little different than what you're used to it will change you i said i serve a god and that's got power i said i serve a god and that's got power wanna be just like my pa and die by a rattlesnake bite in a church i said i serve a god and that's got power this might be a little bit different than what you're used to it will change you!
12.
yeah we're all gonna die so why not have a slice of pie? candies sodas and snacks yes i heart heart attacks wanna ride a balloon there is a face on the moon something under the bed it's sweaty hairy and red basket weave in the dark underwater and starved shackled in rusty chains air deprived in our brains timmys stuck in the well and sammys burning in hell maggies making a mess and danny wears a dress look at me in my expensive car i am a rockstar look at me i'm in my daddies pool i think i'm so cool heres another verse and now i'm driving the herse somebody killed the nurse how could it get any worse? ryans tying the knot lou is in charge of the shop kathys breaking the law and sexy wants it raw look at me im in the goodyear blimp fly high like a pimp look at me im on top of the hill i'm perfectly still
13.
here i go again i'm down the pipes swimmin my way through the sewage and shite another mile and you take a right i think i finally see a glimpse of light im not complainin' yeah, i like it alright there's lizard girls and i'm high as a kite another mile and you take a left that'll lead you straight to your death here i go again will it ever end? here you go again will it ever end? no here i go again im up the creek without a paddle and the shit really stanks i could really use another drank i should've never gone down the sink shoulda snuggled up in the clink but i floated down with a wink here i go again will it ever end? here you go again will it ever end? here we go again will it ever end? here i go again here you go again here we go again will it ever end? no here i go again in outer space seeing god and now i'm face to face i wasn't lookin and they tangled my lace and now im trippin through the pearly gates here i go again will it ever end? here you go again will it ever end? here we go again will it ever end? here i go again here you go again here we go again will it ever end? no
14.
please hold still while i insert the pill open wide look inside lets take a ride see what we find you're in a trance i sing my song do my little dance take a chance if you get bored just cut the cord gambling gabe yes he still wants to play roll the dice bust and bank they're liquid assets down the drain whats in your mind? i cannot seem to find step inside move too fast dont you want to make your love last? we all need somewhere to hide on the run from monsters in our minds might end up dead running from the monsters in our heads you're a joke have a drink have a smoke have a stroke sexy lou turned you to goo you are a fool kick off your shoes stay awhile dial the phone call me Kyle lizard girls offer the twirl give it a whirl whats under the bed? its something red go ahead in the clink you dealt the stink so call the shrink i dont know what else to say im floating down the drain i've dissolved there's something clogged up in my brain we all need somewhere to hide on the run from monsters in our minds might end up dead running from the monsters in our heads

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'Royal Flush' is JARKO's full length & fully mastered debut album

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released August 1, 2019

JARKO - Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Drum Machine, Keys, Recording, Production, Composer & Lyricist

Luke Mekuly - Artwork

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JARKO & the Kandy Jar Joyride Appleton, Wisconsin

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